When You Don't Get What You Want (1)

Grow in grace...
2 Peter 3:18

Psychologist Henry Cloud does a lot of corporate consulting. Sometimes he asks executives this question: 'When in your business training or education, did you ever take a course on how to lose well?' Losing is an inevitable part of life. It gives us an invaluable window into the development of our character. How do we do when we're part of a team that makes a decision that's opposed? How do we handle it when the promotion we applied for, goes to somebody else? How do we do when our idea, proposal, or invitation for a date gets rejected? To live is to lose. But to lose badly, gracelessly, can be lethal.



The president of an organisation has an agenda for change that is dead in the water. No one wants it. But he's stubborn and won't take no for an answer, so he gets malicious compliance instead. People don't resist him openly, but they sabotage his agenda. He loses their respect and their loyalty. He could not stand to lose on his agenda; so instead, he loses what matters far more.



A pastor wants his church to change in ways that the people don't embrace. He wants it to look like his ideal of what a church should be. So he preaches angry sermons that chastise them for not following his leadership. He tries to pressure the elders. He threatens, he whines, he manipulates. Eventually the elders ask him to leave the church. Because he cannot learn from his losses, he loses everything. Peter, who was known for being bull-headed, had grown wiser and more mature, so he writes, 'Grow in grace.' When you don't get what you want - be gracious!