When Your Mate Doesn't Share Your Faith (3)

If a woman has a husband who is not a believer

1 Corinthians 7:13 NIV

Accept your mate as they are. Take the conditions off your love - as God did for you. 'God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us… when we were God's enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son… ' (Romans 5:8-10 NIV). Love them with no requirements. That means, first, to accept them without criticism. 'Don't criticise, and then you won't be criticised… others will treat you as you treat them' (Matthew 7:1-2 TLB). Criticism always creates a stand-off on spiritual issues. Instead, find qualities in them to compliment and you'll generate openness. Second, accept them without comparisons. 'I wish you were more like Tom. He and Lucie go to church together every Sunday and they have a great marriage.' You're comparing apples with oranges! He'll hear you say he's not as good a husband as Tom, and he'll grow to despise Tom, the church, and anything else you compare him to. Accept him as he is. Third, accept them without change. People resent demands for change, but often do change once they feel truly accepted as they are. Change is the Holy Spirit's job, not yours. '… He will convict the world of guilt… sin and righteousness… ' (John 16:8 NIV). First, let God's Spirit change you. Our partner's behaviours are usually responses to us. When you change, your partner is responding to a different you, and will be more likely to change voluntarily. Follow God's model: first, He accepts; next, He reconciles; last, He changes people! '… at just the right time… Christ died for the ungodly' (Romans 5:6 NIV). It worked on you!

When Your Mate Doesn't Share Your Faith (2)

If a woman has a husband who is not a believer
1 Corinthians 7:13 NIV

Don't be surprised when you get opposition. 'I think my husband liked me better before I became a Christian and started to go to church,' a woman complained to her pastor. The pastor reminded her that spiritual warfare is part of the Christian life, and because believers and unbelievers are on opposite sides, she shouldn't be shocked. Jesus laid down the dividing line: 'He who is not with Me is against Me… ' (Matthew 12:30 NKJV). That's strong language! Neutrality isn't an option in this conflict. We are either on one side or the other. Jesus said, 'If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you… If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you… all these things they will do to you for My name's sake, because they do not know Him who sent Me' (John 15:19-21 NKJV). Don't take opposition personally. It's not about you, it's about His name. He, not you, is the target, and He can handle the flack!

You say, 'What should I do when I am criticised and misunderstood?' Try to stay detached from personal offence so that you can continue to love the person and be in a position to win them to Jesus. 'Bless those who persecute you… Repay no one evil for evil… live peaceably with all men… do not avenge yourselves… Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good' (Romans 12:14-21 NKJV). Try it - it's Christ's winning strategy!

When Your Mate Doesn't Share Your Faith (1)

If a woman has a husband who is not a believer

1 Corinthians 7:13 NIV

Living with an unbelieving mate is both a challenge and an opportunity. It's a challenge because believers and unbelievers see life differently. And it's an opportunity because God can use you to close the gap and win them to Christ. But for that to take place you must make two commitments. First, commit yourself to the goal of their salvation; second, commit yourself to your own growth through loving them and living with them. Once you've committed, you're ready for this practical and helpful counsel.
Remember the unbeliever's spiritual limitations. 'Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!' (2 Corinthians 5:17 NIV). Only when they're 'in Christ' can they be a 'new creation'. Only then will 'the old' go! The old will dominate until they receive the new. 'That which is born of the flesh is flesh; and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit' (John 3:6 NKJV). Remember, the unbeliever suffers from spiritual birth defects they can't overcome until the new birth corrects them. '… the flesh is hostile toward God; for it does not subject itself to the law of God, for it is not even able to do so… those… in the flesh cannot please God' (Romans 8:7-8 NAS). If they don't love God's Word, prayer and church like you do, it's because they're controlled by the flesh and are 'not even able' to. So have realistic expectations. Remember what you were like BC (Before Christ)? Be patient, loving and kind while God does His work in them.

Turn Aside And Listen To God

I must turn aside and look...
Exodus 3:3 NRS

Moses was working his regular job as a shepherd when he saw a burning bush, just like the ones he'd seen a hundred times before. Only this time the bush was on fire with God's presence. Moses said, 'I must turn aside and look.' In that moment everything depended on his willingness to interrupt his daily routine and make time for God. He could have said, 'I'm busy,' and kept on going. But he'd have missed his calling and the reason for his existence. He'd have missed knowing God and doing great things. But he didn't, he 'turned aside.' God wanted to begin a new nation, with Moses leading it. The timing seemed strange. With God, it often does. Forty years ago Moses was young, the product of the finest education system in the world. He had powerful connections and high hopes. But now he was a nobody, a lowly shepherd in a forgotten desert, rejected by his people and a fugitive on the run. "Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh?" (Exodus 3:11 NRS) Moses asked God. "Nobody knows me. I don't speak too well. And my track record isn't too good." God said, 'I know about your past, and it doesn't matter. Your failure and inadequacies are no longer the ultimate truth about you. You are what you are, but you're not yet what you will be; because I will be with you.'

Do you need direction for your life? Slow down, turn aside, and listen to God. What He has to say is more important than anything else you'll hear.

How To Have A Good Day

Without Me you can do nothing. John 15:5 NKJV

You can change the course of a day Satan has negative plans for, by spending time with the Lord, especially when you sense any attitude or behaviour in yourself that's not Christ-like. Jesus said, 'without Me you can do nothing.' (John 15:5 NKJV). On the other hand, 'I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me' (Philippians 4:13 NKJV). Negative feelings are like unwelcome house guests: the worst thing you can do is to invite them in. You may not be able to override them in your own strength, but if you seek God's help He will enable you to walk according to His ways, not by your negative emotions and perspective. 'But what if someone offends me?' The Bible says we're not to be oversensitive or easily offended. Actually we are commanded to forgive those who hurt us, not letting things fester. Sometimes we want to forgive and do what's right, but we find doing it difficult. More often than not, the right thing is the hard thing to do, not the easy thing. That's when you need to pray and allow God to talk to you through His Word. Only then will you find the strength to do the right thing.

Remember, you're in a war, and the battle begins the moment your eyes open each morning. To win, 'be strong in the Lord… Put on the whole armour of God… having girded your waist with truth… put on the breastplate of righteousness… having shod your feet with… the gospel of peace… taking the shield of faith… And take the helmet of salvation… the sword of the Spirit… praying always… in the Spirit… speak boldly… ' (Ephesians 6:10-20 NKJV).

Showing Compassion

Blessed is he who considers the poor Psalm 41:1 NKJV

A central theme of the Bible is that of showing compassion. 'Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing… what good is it… faith… if it is not accompanied by action, is dead' (James 2:15-17 NIV). Certain types of people seem less likely to show compassion than others. For example, 1) the visionary type who refuses to interrupt their schedule 2) the diligent type whose work ethic gets distorted into thinking, 'I worked hard for what I've got; so should you'3) the judgmental type who assumes the misfortune of others is always a result of reaping what they've sown4) the insecure type who feels that by giving to others, their own needs will go unmet5) the scripturally unenlightened type who doesn't understand that God has promised to reward compassion: 'Oh, the joys of those who are kind to the poor! The Lord rescues them when they are in trouble… protects them and keeps them alive… gives them prosperity… and rescues them from their enemies… nurses them when they are sick and restores them to health' (Psalm 41:1-3 NLT). Jesus said, '… whatever you did for one of the least of these… you did for me' (Matthew 25:40 NIV). Mother Teresa said, 'If you are kind, people will accuse you of selfish motives; be kind anyway. The good you do today, most people will forget; do good anyway. Give the world the best you've got and it may never be enough; give your best anyway. In the final analysis it's between you and God; it was never between you and them anyway.'

The Importance Of Character

Those who deal truthfully are His delight.
Proverbs 12:22 NKJV

George Jones started out as a clerk in a grocery store and quickly gained a reputation for his work ethic. The thing people noticed about George was his character. He exemplified the principle, 'Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who deal truthfully are His delight' (Proverbs 12:22 NKJV). George's character brought him to the attention of Henry J Raymond, the renowned journalist. They became friends and together they started The New York Times. Years later when the newspaper waged a crusade against 'Boss Tweed,' Jones received an under-the-table offer of �500,000; a vast sum of money at the time. All he had to do was retire to Europe. 'You can live like a prince the rest of your days,' said the gangster making the offer. 'Yes,' replied Jones, 'and know myself every day to be a rascal.'

The poet wrote, 'I have to live with myself and so, I want to be fit for myself to know. I want to be able as days go by, always to look myself in the eye. I don't want to stand in the setting sun and hate myself for the things I've done. I don't want to keep on a closet shelf, a lot of secrets about myself; and fool myself as I come and go, into thinking nobody else will know - the kind of man I really am.' Nothing is more important than your character. No matter how rich or successful you become, when you lose your character you've lost everything. And one more thought: if you always do the right thing, you'll never have to worry about remembering what you did!