Friday, April 23, 2010

When Your Mate Doesn't Share Your Faith (3)

If a woman has a husband who is not a believer

Accept your mate as they are. Take the conditions off your love - as God did for you. 'God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us… when we were God's enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son… ' (Romans 5:8-10 NIV). Love them with no requirements. That means, first, to accept them without criticism. 'Don't criticise, and then you won't be criticised… others will treat you as you treat them' (Matthew 7:1-2 TLB). Criticism always creates a stand-off on spiritual issues. Instead, find qualities in them to compliment and you'll generate openness. Second, accept them without comparisons. 'I wish you were more like Tom. He and Lucie go to church together every Sunday and they have a great marriage.' You're comparing apples with oranges! He'll hear you say he's not as good a husband as Tom, and he'll grow to despise Tom, the church, and anything else you compare him to. Accept him as he is. Third, accept them without change. People resent demands for change, but often do change once they feel truly accepted as they are. Change is the Holy Spirit's job, not yours. '… He will convict the world of guilt… sin and righteousness… ' (John 16:8 NIV). First, let God's Spirit change you. Our partner's behaviours are usually responses to us. When you change, your partner is responding to a different you, and will be more likely to change voluntarily. Follow God's model: first, He accepts; next, He reconciles; last, He changes people! '… at just the right time… Christ died for the ungodly' (Romans 5:6 NIV). It worked on you!

No comments: